ON SQUANDERING LIFE:

Don't get me wrong, as I think it's wonderful when people care about one another, BUT, when one worries so much about the fate of the world, the wars, the injustices, the economy, and so on to distraction, I don't think they realize that they are squandering their own life. Let's put it into a really personal close up example that I don't think EVER happens. Children really know how to live... and maybe it's because they don't listen to or watch the news like us adults, or maybe it's that their frontal lobe isn't mature enough to not selfishly love to be given wonderful gifts. They don't know that some of their wants and gifts aren't something that every child receives automatically at birthdays and Christmas. But imagine this scenario... A child's birthday, and you went out of your way to get him just the right present to really make him happy, but when he opens it he says, This is too good for me... what about those children who have nothing. I think we should give this to them, or get your money back and give it to the poor. Or worse, if he went on and on about how everything bad is happening and what a wreck this world is coming to, that he shouldn't even be enjoying something so trivial as a toy. Our blessing of their childhood innocence, is in watching the wonder and magic of their realization of what a wonderful life this is for them... but... being adult... we hear so much of the bad, we have so many more worries, we feel so for the soldiers and those others for whom they are fighting for their freedom that we think the world is all going to hell on a broomstick.

When one worries about things that may happen to the point that their life is unhappy because of it, then one is squandering one's own gift of life. I don't mean that we shouldn't do something about the oppressed and poverty... and the fastest way for someone to come out of their depressive thoughts is to help others. I don't mean that we shouldn't complain about the government, but the fastest way to feel better about your part as a citizen is to write to your representatives. You can only do so much as an individual, and that's exactly why we have representatives who serve as our voice at township, county, state and federal levels. When they aren't representing us properly, don't complain to others, write AND call them. But do get others to do the same.

When you have helped someone who seems not to care and is collecting welfare and feels that it's his (or her) right to get it, just remember that those persons are in the minority. It used to be that even those who wanted to get off the rolls, had no real choice if they had children at home and no husband(or spouse) for support, as they actually couldn't afford to work outside the home with the cost of childcare, transportation, even the clothes needed for a job. Now we have training programs with transportation and childcare provided. So let's not worry so much about those taking advantage of the system unless you have something in particular to report to the authorities.

I once nearly went crazy with worry and thought the world was going to end ...and what would I do about it. I even bought a book on "edible wild plants" thinking if everything went down the tubes I may be able to survive by living off the land. That book was new then, and now I see it was published in the early 80's. 30 years ago, and it hasn't happened. I read somewhere that over ninety percent of the things we worry about never happen.

I worried about global warming; acid rains; air pollution; effects of chemicals in foods or in the air we breathe or the water we drink. All this worrying somehow didn't do anything at all for the state of this earth and the people therein. I finally realized that if the creator was looking down on me, he would think I was squandering this wonderful gift... this wonderful life he gave me with all this worrying. I don't have to save the world, but I had better appreciate my own place in this world. If everyone felt as I once did, what would be the purpose of living... And don't think I didn't wonder that back then. But a phrase I heard came to me. It was "See the world in a grain of sand." I looked up the poem it came from:
"To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour." ~~ Wm. Blake

I began to do crazy things like bring back the sand in little clear glass bottles for those who couldn't get to the seashore; I started an album of all the wildflowers that bloomed in the growing season in the northeast. I would take walks to the tops of hills and look down at the landscape, realizing how small my problems were in the sight from a distance. I'd lie out under the stars and get lost in them... However, the more time one looks up from a spot with no other lights to diffuse those little beams, the more you see. Then I'd really wonder, "What IS it all about?" Probably each of those stars is bigger than our sun. I'd not want to watch the stars too long, as it just boggled my mind. All I could see so diminished me to the point where I didn't amount to a speck of dust when it comes to the Universe. Even God seemed like an impossibility. But it did me good to have myself minimized so. It made me realize that I was always a child if I could still wonder. I decided to wonder about the small things, like how something as small as a gnat could fly; how beautiful a simple bubble blown from a jar of kids bubble stuff could be. How is it that they say every snow flake is different... who as collected enough to know? Who cares? It is a wonder, not an answer. When we say something is wonderful, we just mean it makes us happy.


My walks and wonders make me happy. When something doesn't make me happy, I want to do something about it, if I deem that something can be done by me, whether to group others for a cause or write my reps' in Harrisburg or Washington DC, or the President himself. I'll recycle or compost whatever I can to avoid too much trash, economize my money, my driving, and even my own energy by thinking ahead just that much, or leave it up to a higher power. Thinking too far ahead can give you a headache. Find a belief system even if it's to find a wiser self within. Hopefully you will find a spiritual connection to the universe, and know that you are worthwhile. You haven't earned life, you have been given life--appreciate it, it doesn't last forever, and it's no one else's but yours. You can decide. And, if you want, you can squander it worrying yourself to death, but I, for one, would rather see the world in a grain of sand and eternity in an hour.